Today I got peed on twice.
Today I pulled a stuffed animal out of my toilet, and there were other things floating in there too.
I am not joking.
Today I fell asleep and snored myself awake.
Today I thought if I could just squeeze in a 5 to 10 hour nap, I might be functional enough to carry on a conversation at dinner.
Today, before church, I took a smelly kitchen rag and scrubbed crusty snot and slobber off my dress.
Today I found out our two short-term placement kids will indeed be short-term.
They are going home soon.
The moment I find out kids are leaving is the moment when every part of me buckles. My heart celebrates and collapses in the same beat. I want to cry out “YES!” and “NO!” all in one breath.
No matter how prepared I think I am, I am not.
I never am.
Surprisingly, I will miss the hilarity of stuffed animals drowning in toilets. I will miss chasing a slippery, 2 year-old, bathtub-escapee around the house insisting he put on pajamas. I will miss hearing a sweet 4-year-old say in her squeaky lisp…
“That’th tho ‘mathin!” (That’s so amazing!)
Today I will cry.
Today I will smile.
Today begins the odd mixture of grief and delight.
Delight for a family being restored.
Grief for us…a family having to let go.