Boys are weird.
I was raised with all girls.
We had tea parties. We played with dolls. We fixed our hair. We were basically hygienic.
Boys are different than girls. Boy moms everywhere tried to explain this to me, but I don’t feel I ever really grasped how different they were until I lived with them.
These are my boys:
|No idea why there is a napkin on the child’s head.|
Boys have been a whole new phenomenon. They don’t like tea parties or dolls! Their favorite words are “fart” and “DUDE!” They prefer to avoid showers but not avoid mud, which is so confusing.
They consider stinking me out of the car with their gaseous-ness a great accomplishment. The ONLY reason I know I should crack a window is when I hear snorts from attempts to suppress giggling coming from the back, and then it is usually too late! Bleck.
Anyway, I am trying to get everyone packed for an out-of-town trip. We will be gone for 7 days. SEVEN. I sent the boys upstairs to get pajamas, underwear, shirts, and basic hygiene items. The boys ran upstairs whispering and laughing about who-knows-what, but I definitely heard the word “DUDE!” about twenty times. Then about twenty seconds later they all clomp downstairs (which I erroneously assumed was their excellent efficiency) with the following items:
2 pairs of underwear
1 pair of shorts
1 pair of broken sunglasses
16 pairs of socks
1 pair of camouflage, flannel-lined coveralls
1 stuffed unicorn
NOW, keep in mind, this list is a compilation of what ALL FOUR boys brought me. And they have an explanation for all of it. Which just makes them amazing.
2 pairs of underwear – They don’t need more than that, because they will be swimming, and just plan on wearing swimming trunks all day. (please note that not ONE pair of trunks were brought downstairs)
2 shirts – They are boys, they don’t need shirts, only girls do.
1 pair of shorts – They will just wear the pants they travel in for seven days. The one pair of shorts is just in case they spill something on their pants, and besides they have their non-existent swimming trunks to wear.
1 compass – They just NEED this.
1 pair of broken sunglasses – They plan to superglue these back together. I pointed out that they are missing one whole ear piece, and there isn’t really anything to superglue back together. They were undaunted and insisted they can whittle an ear piece before we leave to superglue to the broken sunglasses.
16 pairs of socks – This one really shocked me, I didn’t know we had 16 pairs of socks matched in our house. They need them in case their socks get wet. You know, when they wear socks with the flip-flops they were told to bring.
1 pair of camouflage, flannel lined coveralls – These are for any spontaneous freezing-temperatured hunting adventures we may encounter while at the beach…where it is not expected to dip below 75 degrees.
1 stuffed unicorn – This is the only item that has a satisfactory explanation. Mia tried to sneak this item in with the boys’ packing because it didn’t fit with her things. Sneaky. The boys thought this was hilariously funny and offered to leave their 2 pairs of underwear to allow space for the unicorn.
I am assuming at some point the boys will be able to pack for themselves, without an itemized checklist…right?
I also assume at some point I will be able to take smiling pictures of them without having to threaten them. Although, I don’t get many of Nigel…so I may have to give this idea up.
I also assume my family would be significantly more boring without them.
I wouldn’t have all the smells or all the dirt…but I also wouldn’t have their humor, their silliness, or their kindness (I mean, who gives up underwear space for a stuffed unicorn?)
Those sweet, silly boys. Love them.